I just told my boyfriend of 2.5 years that I can't be with him anymore. There are so many things that I love about him - and I've never even come close to loving anyone as much as I've loved him - but there are things that he cannot offer me, and I have to accept that despite my best efforts, there's nothing I can do to change that in him. We've had fight after fight and one dramatic break-up and reconciliation after another, and it's gotten to the point where I'm embarrassed about the things that go on and sometimes keep them from my friends and family in fear that they'll hold it against him - the "if we work it out, I don't want them to remember this about him" excuse. I don't think I expect too much - I want an equal partner (in terms of effort), and maybe even someone who will go above and beyond "the call of duty" every once in a while to let me know - through their actions, not just their words - that they think I'm something special.
Tell me - is this really too much to ask? I know that you have to take the good with the bad, and I do appreciate a lot of things about him, but ... it has to be easier than this. I'm only 25, and as far as I can see, life certainly does not get any less complicated as time goes on.------- Updated 2009-03-01 18:02:29 -------
Umm, let's see. Still waiting for our two-year anniversary present (that was in August), he constantly owes me money (right now it's around $400 and he still hasn't paid rent for February), he's incapable of initiating anything productive around the house, and he is in a constant cycle of fucking up, getting defensive because he fucked up, and then apologizing for fucking up and asking for another chance.
------- Updated 2009-03-01 18:05:51 -------
Wooow! So much hate!
------- Updated 2009-03-01 18:07:33 -------
His side of the story? It's always "I love you, I'm sorry, I know I constantly mess up."
------- Updated 2009-03-01 18:10:20 -------
aimtastic: So he's lazy and he takes you for granted. Yeah, here's what's gonna happen (and I bet it's what you're hoping will happen) - you're gonna break up with him, telling him this time it's final, that you're sick of doing all the work in the relationship, blah blah blah. And a week later, he's gonna call you and tell you you're right, he has been taking you for granted and it took losing you to make him see that. If you'd only take him back, he promises this time it will be different - he'll get his act together, he'll do things to let you know he appreciates you, and maybe for a little while he'll even keep those promises. Then it will fall back into the same routine and you'll give him another ultimatum and he'll make more promises, and maybe he'll even propose one of these times. And you'll accept. Because he's too lazy to try to find someone else who will put up with his crap. And you take too much pleasure in playing the martyr to give it up.
This has happened more than once (minus the proposing). I can never bring myself to actually break up with him. As for the martyr thing? Who knows. I certainly don't actively enjoy it.
------- Updated 2009-03-01 18:15:17 -------
Alright, all of you with your panties in a bunch, here's some "D" from this weekend. Last night, I was out with my girlfriends while he was away with friends in another city. Cut to 3 AM when my girlfriend and I have been waiting out in the fucking freezing cold for an hour trying to get a cab home. We finally go to a hotel to take shelter. I call him because I'm upset - I can't stop shaking from the cold, and I was starting to feel completely stranded. During the call, my friend finally gets a cab, and some douche literally pushes her out of the way to get into it instead. I call out "Hey!" and hang up the phone without saying goodbye. He does not call me back. For all he knows, I was attacked. When I talk to him about it this morning, he's pissed that I'm upset - "What did you want me to do, drive back 4 hours to pick you up?" No, I wanted you to give a fucking shit what happened to your girlfriend alone in a city at night after your call cut out.
------- Updated 2009-03-01 18:19:03 -------
Alice_Liddell: It's the people, like that one lesbian make-up break-up chick, who just share all these details and mundane crap about their lives constantly. I am led to believe they think if someone, somewhere, doesn't know about every little detail of their life - they will cease to exist.
Well lord knows you'd cease to exist if you didn't get the chance to prove over the internet how much better and more knowledgeable you are than others.
------- Updated 2009-03-01 18:23:48 -------
oh fucking PLEASE. IT WAS 3 AM AND YOU CALLED HIM BACK THIS MORNING????
you woke him up one of those timesa -- i'd be pissed too if you called me seeking nothing but attention.
It's wrong to call your boyfriend for a kind word when you're scared and cold and tired? And he was not asleep, he was up, stoned, with his friends, which is the reason he told me he didn't really react.
------- Updated 2009-03-01 18:23:54 -------
oh fucking PLEASE. IT WAS 3 AM AND YOU CALLED HIM BACK THIS MORNING????
you woke him up one of those timesa -- i'd be pissed too if you called me seeking nothing but attention.
It's wrong to call your boyfriend for a kind word when you're scared and cold and tired? And he was not asleep, he was up, stoned, with his friends, which is the reason he told me he didn't really react.
------- Updated 2009-03-01 18:26:52 -------
You hung up. It's your responsibility to call back, not his. Plus you've probably hung up on him in a huff a million times. You sound like a pain in the ass. I think you two probably deserve each other.
Yup, I have hung up in a huff before. This was not that. My friend was being pushed by a dude clutching a bloody cloth in his face. The police had to be called. We were not fighting before I hung up.
------- Updated 2009-03-01 18:31:07 -------
Alice_Liddell: I'm sorry you're mad at me for not being dumb.
I tell you what, I'm going to call my boyfriend up right now, hang up on him and then scream at him for not caring if maybe a terrorist bombed my apartment because he didn't call right back. If I do something that dumb, would you like me again?
You just might be one of the most passive-aggressive people I've ever met. Congratulations on claiming the title!
1) You have no idea how smart I am.
2) I would be SHOCKED to find out that you actually have a boyfriend. People like you who dole out advice like you have life completely figured out somehow never quite seem to figure it out themselves. Weird, huh?
3) I absolutely did not "scream" at him. I told him that I was hurt by what he did.
4) I've never liked you, so don't worry about it.
------- Updated 2009-03-01 18:34:29 -------
Tat'dGreaser [TotalFark] Quote 2009-03-01 07:30:41 PM
I love when submitters regret a thread.
And I bet you're really damn proud of yourself, too.
The_Flatline: Someone pushes you and the police had to be called?
The cab driver called the police because a bleeding drunk guy was assaulting my friend.
------- Updated 2009-03-01 18:39:55 -------
Welp - you all have certainly taught me my lesson, haven't you? Let's count the ways in which you're better than I am: you were married and knocked up by my age (hats off to you - you must be SO much better than I am!), you get your rocks off by being needlessly cruel to people on the internet, and despite claiming to be worlds above me in terms of intelligent, can't even fucking reading.
I DID NOT CALL THE COPS. The cab driver did. My fucking lord.
------- Updated 2009-03-01 18:51:55 -------
How does this prove it's me (Eutamias21)? Ask whammy - it is.
